Trump appointee reportedly suggested seizing Greenland to secure seafood for Red Lobster
Tom Dans, a Trump administration appointee, told a New Yorker reporter the United States could "take all the seafood Greenland could produce" to "bring back all-you-can-eat shrimp" at Red Lobster. Greenland is an autonomous territory of the Kingdom of Denmark and a NATO partner, so seizing it would amount to annexation and risk severe diplomatic and military repercussions. The comment links a commercial goal to territorial acquisition, turning a restaurant promotion into an issue with real consequences for U.S. foreign policy and NATO cohesion.
Foreign policy experts say that invading Greenland would be a catastrophic mistake. A guy who falls asleep in public and can't control his bowels says it would once again allow Americans to enjoy Endless Shrimp at Red Lobster. For busy Americans, it can be hard to know who to trust.
Sanho Tree9They only want white shrimp. “Not only did he want to purchase Greenland, he actually said he wanted to see if we could sell Puerto Rico,” Miles Taylor, a former C/S at DHS, later said. “Could we swap Puerto Rico for Greenland? Because, in his words, Puerto Rico was dirty & the people were poor.”
Shola Hoon5Endless Shrimp is back baby, even if for a Limited Time™️
robertholzer.bsky.social5Trump does Greenland invasion talk the right way by Ezra Klein
Señor Juanton4Most people we spoke with thought the rationale of getting endless supply of seafood for Red Lobster is the height on insanity; but Cheddar Bay biscuit enthusiasts at a Toms River Red Lobster are not so sure
Monde Boeuf3"War with NATO could be averted if Red Lobster's effort to stave off bankruptcy fails" was on nobody's Bingo card.
NEWS: Mass arrests made at reflecting pool as Trump promises 10 years in prison—national guard on patrol. Trump seeks Greenland to bring back all you can eat shrimp at Red Lobster. Starmer resigns. Iran talks progress. My first employee starts today! Subscribe to support my work:
Wildling14The most important thing to remember about the reflecting pool is that we haven’t seen the full Epstein files
David Stone9It sounds like we've lost the cops, the military, and the National Guard; of course, ICE is Trump's SS. I wonder if the latter will concentrate on blue/swing states during the midterms.
True Blue9Dear The Rest of the World - please don't come here. It's as bad as you think it is.
DMin8Trump didn't have the authority to deploy the national guard on January 6th to protect Senators, Congressional Members and his Vice President, but he had the authority to deploy the National Guard to protect his vanity project.
Honesty4Back to Greenland, really? Give it a rest 47 smh
Not Your Liberal2Trump seeks Greenland to what?! When the hell does the 25th amendment come into play? Also remember when everyone was worried about Biden but now the president is sleeping during meetings and whatever the hell this is. If you had a family member acting like this you would put them in a home.
Welp, sorry yall, I’m a fascist now. It’s clear imperialism is the only way forward. I need unlimited shrimp every day or I can’t feel at ease. Meet me at red lobster and let’s celebrate life.
Odrok the Deceiver11What these fools fail to realize is that it's the garlic biscuits that made the whole thing work; without those the endless shrimp are meaningless.
Sensitive Algae7Have we tried buying the shrimp from them or is an invasion the only way we can get some delicious shrimp? How do other countries get shrimp?
Outside context problem4we've got ourselves a new lobster war!
Captain Tom2I can't even tell if this is satire or not. I am tired.
Will Kaufman2Okay, but there are fewer than 500 Red Lobsters left. Who do we have to invade to secure unlimited Red Lobsters?
